Jay introduced this sport to me this weekend. Really, it’s a sport. There is a world championship in South Africa every year. You can even find it on wikipedia listed under the categories “feces” and “sport in africa”.
In Afrikaans, they call it “Bokdrol Spoeg”, basically “antelope pellet spit”. It seems you can use any type of antelope poo, the professionals use kudu. We went for eland.
Eland are the largest antelope around here, they are about the size of a horse but look more like a cow. Despite their enormity, they excrete relatively small pellets that weigh nearly nothing.
So, Jay walks up with two bokdrols in his hand and challenges me to a Spoeg. Winner gets to commence the traditional post-Spoeg imbibition. I get to choose my drol and whether I want to go first or second. I choose first, I don’t want to be intimidated by Jay’s probable lengthy shot. As I prepare to stick the poo in my mouth, a red flag goes up in my head.
“This is a trick. They say this is a game they play just to get stupid foreigners to put shit in their mouth and then they laugh at them”, I thought.
So I make Jay go first and, no, it’s not a trick, this is actually what they do for fun. They get really drunk and spit poo and then drink some more. I suppose that’s the best way to do it. Unfortunately, we were not really drunk.
Jay leans his head back, takes a running jump, and launches his pellet about 3 meters, or almost 10 feet. I, hesitantly, put mine in my mouth, am horrified, try to mimic his motions, but quickly and spastically spit, just to get it out. It flies about a meter, a pathetic 3 feet in front of me, and plops on the ground.
Wikipedia says the record is 15.56 meters. That’s like a school bus and a half. Do people sit around and practice? Jay says the trick is to moisten the pellet slightly in your mouth first. With moisture comes momentum. I’ll try to remember that if I am ever in a life-and-death poo-spitting situation. I can’t imagine why else I would do this again.